Women of Pittsburgh Concerned They'll Never Get to Shave their Playoff Beards

After yet another thrilling victory by a Pittsburgh sports team, the women of the city are starting to get concerned that they may never get to fully shave off their playoff beards. With the defending Superbowl champs about to start training for yet another season with a championship-caliber roster, their concerns about never being stache-free are more valid than ever.

"Yinz guys know about dose der Steelers, and that's no joke n'at," said Pittsburgh resident and nearly year-round beard haver Jessie Ronston. "I mean, we've just gotta thank dat God that the Pirates are what they are so we can let the skin breathe here for a few of the summer months."

Traditionally, athletes turn to age-old superstitions to help them gain confidence through the playoffs. To support their teams over the last few seasons of playoff appearances, victories and eventual championships, the women of Pittsburgh decided to put down their Nair, wax and razors and join the crusade to inspire their men.

Georgia Stelling, active member of the Pittsburgh Junior Club for Women, says that wearing a beard to support the Steelers and the Penguins is as natural as getting the morning paper with an IC in hand.

"The 'Lerz were one thing; dem guys cen ruhhhlly play," said Stelling. "But when we got dem kids n'at with the Pens comin aught, barely able to grow dem der beards themselves, well, by golly, I'm willing to pitch in to help dem guys and show my support." Stelling then raised her terrible towel high and started chanting "Here we go be-ards, here we go!"

When asked about when she'll start planning to grow her playoff beard for the 2009 Steelers season, Ronston was vague, but promised it would be soon.

"We never know exactly when it's going to happen, but every year, around August, Steely McBeam emerges from his mysterious blue collar job. And if he comes out, and sees a lady without a five o'clock shadow, well, you can just kiss dose 'Lerz playoff hopes bye. I'd rather just not shave at all for the rest of the year, just to be safe."