Obama Adds James Worthy To Transition Team
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In a surprise move Wednesday, President-Elect Barack Obama announced the addition of NBA Hall of Famer James Worthy to his elite transition team. Although Obama’s love for basketball has been well-documented, virtually no one anticipated him to select and incorporate a retired professional basketball player into his political fold. Many criticize the choice, stating that not only does the former Los Angeles Lakers all-star have zero political experience, but he’s often a liability from the three-point line.
During a press conference for the announcement, Obama offered a rebuttal to the skeptics. “Now, as I’ve said in the past, I want to ensure that this administration’s transition is smooth, orderly, and efficient. That’s why I brought in Mr. Worthy—no one finishes in transition better than Big Game James. To me, he’s not just a slam-dunk, he’s a Statue of Liberty slam-dunk. And nothing’s more American than dunking in a way that references an iconic gift from the French.”
After a brief line of questioning in which Obama repeatedly referred to Worthy as his “Secretary of the Baseline”, the three-time NBA champion then took the podium, wearing his trademark goggles and a Lakers warm-up suit. “The way I look at it, Obama’s like Magic, and he just passed me the rock in traffic, and either I gotta take it to the hole strong, or maybe I dump it off in the paint to Rahm Emmanuel, who’s been running hard all game and finally has good position down-low on Laimbeer. Transition is all about seeing the court, knowing your choices. I will bring that kind of experience to the Obama team.”
When pressed on his purported lack of political familiarity, Worthy pulled his goggles up to his forehead, mimed taking a free-throw, and then said, “Splash! See, I consider that question a reporter technical foul. And it just cost you a point in crunch time.” Worthy then went on to compare Democrats and Republicans to the intense Lakers-Celtics rivalry in the 1980s, stating, “Because really, when you think about it, the game of politics is a lot like the NBA. When you win the championship playing Showtime basketball like Obama did, you know those Celtics are gonna be hungry. Cheney talks a lot trash.”
