Chauncy's Five Drunken Thoughts of the Week
![Chauncy ‘Buzz’ Killington II](http://www.brownspotonline.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/Author/photos/Old Man.jpg "With the maturity level of a 16-year-old boy and the build of a 66-year-old
man, Chauncy spends most of his time trying to better both his mind
and body, and often shits his diaper in the process ... Enter his
affinity for making contributions to the Brown Spot. If you don't
enjoy his work, he has only this to say: "Fuck you ... And get off my
lawn!"")
in
Here are some out-of-office auto replies that I wanted to leave up this week, but simply couldn’t for fear of losing my job:
5.) I am out of the office; I like that you’re going to be inundated with this message each and every time you send me something, even if you’re just sending it to a team alias that my email address is listed on … Technology FTW!
4.) I am out of the office; in other news, why does your baby look so mad all of the time?
3.) I am out of the office, if this is an urgent matter, please spread hummus on your face like an athlete would with eye black, and then start talking to the crows on your window ledge.
2.) I am actually in the office, but chances are I really don’t want to share any correspondence with you today because I find your messages about as interesting as Bundt cake.
1.) I am out of the office, if you’re trying to sell me something, please take a moment to appreciate these tucans.
