Chauncy's Five Drunken Thoughts for the Week
![Chauncy ‘Buzz’ Killington II](http://www.brownspotonline.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/Author/photos/Old Man.jpg "With the maturity level of a 16-year-old boy and the build of a 66-year-old
man, Chauncy spends most of his time trying to better both his mind
and body, and often shits his diaper in the process ... Enter his
affinity for making contributions to the Brown Spot. If you don't
enjoy his work, he has only this to say: "Fuck you ... And get off my
lawn!"")
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This week’s edition revolves around things other people do to upset me. It really bothers me …
5.) When older family members text me and the message reads as if a Native American has hijacked his or her phone: “Go here outside wind rain jacket bring 1.”
4.) When the workers at Starbucks have stupid looks on their faces … or when they laugh, smile and/or breathe.
3.) When people feed the pigeons. I mean, are you fucking serious?
2.) When fatties get on an elevator with me, hit Floor 2 and then fake cough. You’re clearly not feeling too ill to take the 15 or so stairs to your destination, you’re just obese. FTW!
1.) When people walk up to me with a pack of cigarettes in hand and ask me if I have a lighter. This makes me want to pull a sandwich out of my back pocket and ask them if they have a jar of mayonnaise (Hmmm maybe that guy eats sandwiches too, I’ll ask him).
