Ask A Gay
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Dear Askagay:
Ever since I graduated from Miami of Ohio (Finance, ’06), everything in my life appears pretty killer on the outside. I got a sick consulting job right out of school thanks to my dad. Football season is in high gear and I love getting f*%$king sloshed on Sunday Funday. But after Duffy’s clears out, the Sunday night loneliness sets in. I’m so ready to leave the Barley Corn hoes behind and find a special lady friend. Match.com is for nerds, so what’s a playa like me to do?
Craig Larson, 23, Consultant, Lincoln Park
Craig, feeling you on Fundays for sure. Since you didn’t submit a picture, I’m going to assume you’re not fugly. Here’s some basic guidelines for meeting high quality “lady friends” or women as the rest of us call them.
1) Hang out with a classier crowd. Hit restaurant openings, loft parties, society weddings and concerts in Millennium Park. Join a Junior Board and pick up a copy of CS Magazine. Avoid the Playpen, Viagra triangle and Castaways, basically anything douchie.
2) No more shopping with your mom. Ask a local gay man to take you. If you don’t know any, refer to #1.
3) Manscape – Contrary to popular belief, chicks don’t dig a mantundra. No more Super Cuts either.
4) An easy to remember rhyme: Confidence is slick but don’t be a dick.
One last thing, when you do pick up a quality woman, no sex on the first date! Your days of playing “just the tip” are over young man.
Best,
Askagay
