Quiz Night Turns into Trivia Fight, Nerdity, General Hilarity Ensues
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Tuesday night Pub Quiz at Laddy Pong’s went massively awry as two teams took their passion for trivia into the realm of unfortunate hilarity. Somewhere between the music round of rap hits from the ‘80s and the picture round of stars from "The Hills," two teams allowed their love for facts to transform the scene into one of incredibly nerdy attempted violence.
“The Pub Quiz has become rather heated in past weeks as we’ve seen an increase in cleverly topical team names,” said pub owner Matt Derger. “Unfortunately, this week, ‘The Chris Brown Black Eyes’ and the ‘Stimulus Check in my Pants’ simply got a little out of hand after ranking Eastern European countries in order of likelihood that the population would speak a Germanic language.”
Other pub goers claim they could sense the tension building as the third round featured questions centering entirely around HTML commands, and both teams in question seemed to trust their relative mastery of the world of code.
“As soon as Quizmaster Ted announced the series of questions surrounding websites and coding, the teams at Table 4 and Table 5 seemed to just light up in a fury of coding dominance,” said pub regular Steve Goldham. “We were all a little weirded out that anyone would get excited at the mention of a div tag, but these guys started breathing really heavily and guarding their answer sheets with their ‘lives.’”
After the imagined dominance during the coding commands questions, which were meant to be a joke, the two teams realized it was going to be a tight competition. While neither team really drank alcohol at all, they were willing to risk life and iPhone just to win the coveted prize of the five Guinness glasses promised to the first place team.
The following rounds, which consisted mostly of Star Wars-themed questions, proved to only heighten the tension between the fierce competitors. Once the picture round featuring characters from "The Hills" came, the vastly malprepared “Chris Brown Black Eyes” just “lost it.”
“I mean, you should have seen these guys. Here they are knee deep in Chewbacca and code questions, and all the sudden they’re presented with pictures of LC and Audrina Patridge,” said Derger. “I honestly think I saw three heads explode.”
Once presented with the puzzling photos of MTV stars that they were entirely unfamiliar with, team members began taking jabs at their immediate opponents.
“One of the guys called the members from ‘Stimulus Check in my Pants’ a ‘slew of rubes that most indubitably couldn’t fathom the true depth of the Chebotarev Density Theorem,” said Goldham. “Then one of the guys said he’d count to three in binary code, and if everyone didn’t just shut up, someone was getting their coccyx kicked. A couple zeroes and ones later, arms were flailing.”
The fight escalated immediately from slaps and hair pulling to a large pile of tiny bodies on the floor. Several punches were thrown, none landed on anything of note, unless you count a bar stool, which did not fall over, due to Newton’s Second Law of Motion.
“The fight ended as soon as I could stop laughing and walk over,” said Derger. “These guys were in their thirties and probably hadn’t even punched anything other than numbers on a keyboard.”
Most patrons were entertained by the sudden onslaught of attempted violence that resulted only in hilarity, nerdity.
“I mean, how many times in my life will I be able to drunkenly stand up, raise my arms and scream, ‘Trivia Fight!’” asked Goldham. “If you had asked me yesterday, I would have definitely said none times. But at Quiz Night tonight, I learned something.”
