Costa Botsis

On February 7, I was publicizing my article about the Origin of Zombies (I’m just shameless enough to plug my own article right here).

If you are anything like me, then you think monsters aren’t real. That is, if you are anything like what I used to be. See, I’ve had a bit of a revelation recently. And I’ve discovered that while monsters themselves may not exist, they aren’t complete figments of any imagination.

It’s all about making that connection. The signs are obvious, but sometimes it just takes someone else to connect the dots for you.

No need to worry, because I am just that person to do it!

‘Twas three weeks before Christmas, and life went on without a hitch; except in the city of wind, home to the BlagojeGrinch.

In the med school application for the University of Maryland, it asks the applicant the following:

Please describe and explain below any academic problems which you might have had while in college and/or graduate or professional school. Please include withdrawals, incompletes, poor grades, etc. 

Not entirely an unreasonable question, until you read the guidelines and find out the application requires your answer to be less than two hundred characters, including spaces.

This got me thinking, what can you actually say in just two hundred characters?

• Shit
• Piss
• Fuck
• Cunt
• Cocksucker
• Motherfucker
• Tits

Those are the seven words the great George Carlin immortalized in the seventies for their status as being words that could not be muttered on television or radio - appropriately titled “Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television.” A truly genius bit of comedy, but there’s only one problem with it now; you can say these seven words on TV now.

As far as I’ve been led to believe, an editor is there to help guide and direct a piece of writing to become the best it can be. But what if your editor has ulterior motives? What if they have a section of their website reserved for FAILURE. And not only is it a section for failure, it’s a section where you can talk about how you’ve FAILED.

In a press conference held early today, heads of the Republican Party announced that their intended candidate for president was New York City police officer John McClane and NOT Republican Renegade, John McCain.

“John McCain is an excellent example of an American Hero. But he never walked barefoot on broken glass,” said current Vice-President and Republican Senate Leader Dick Cheney.

Party Chairman Mike Duncan addressed the press this morning, informing the world that “an intern and Spellcheck are at blame for the mix-up.”